This post is about ego.  So I’m going to try and mention other people rather than just rant about myself and my cinematography woes. 

Tomorrow is my first day on set not in Camera or GnE.  My first set was as an AC, then an electric, and so on and so forth.  I never had the pleasure of being a PA (“pleasure” here used ignorantly, as I have no such basis for it) or anything else in any other department. 

Even my own script and film I hired a director and stepped back to DP.  

George Motz will be shooting tomorrow as I step back into the role of… the client.  From meeting him I feel confident, he has the same attitude, excitement, and nerdism that I approach a shoot with.  Being able to be in the background without thinking about crew, logistics, or anything else is bound to give me a new perspective and insight… IF I manage to not think about those things.

Over the last few months I have learned quite a bit about stepping back and telling your ego to shut it. Appreciating the art of collaboration and recognizing that I can always be better.  A cinematography mentor of mine and an all around fabulous guy Michael Haertlein once said to me ”I hope I don’t walk on set as the most talented person.  What would be the point?” and I try to live by the same message.  I try to walk on every set ready to accomplish a task I haven’t before, learn something technical that I didn’t know, watch someone else’s way of doing things, and GET BETTER.  ADAPT.  CREATE.  

Haertlein is not great because he taught me the most about light, and framing, and technical aspects.  That would be John Crawford, who is a master in his field and does not accept any lack of knowledge when it comes to the art of cinematography.  Haertlein was a mentor because he taught me attitude.  Attitude is the key to succeeding and enjoying a life in the film industry.  From an email he wrote me in 2014 when I was struggling over joining Local 600 as an Assistant Camera ”You may just want to tough it out as an AC and get through that level. It sucks for everyone. However, gaffing will improve your lighting skills which is the hardest part of being a cinematographer and you will grow in that area. Either way, just keep shooting shit. Even if it’s for free; keep shooting new material. You will be growing as a DP so when a good job comes, you can perform.“ 

No tricks, no shortcuts.  Just advice to work hard, learn what you can, and stick it out. 

Tomorrow will be an act of humility and collaboration, and hopefully some laughs.